move off

dear xxx,

is it a crime to be a female?

you are a woman.

must you put yourself down to be lower than the men?

there is nothing wrong with being a woman.

and we are not cursed to be dominated by the men of this earth.

a human is a human.

we may not be equal to men.

because everyone has her differences.

but we should be treated equally.

what’s wrong with being a woman?

why must you conform to the old society where women are of lower standing?

when it shouldn’t even exist now?

change your mindset.

women and men, they are as great as each other.

women are not dirty.

they are not unlucky.

placing our clothes on top of men’s clothes,

will not cause the opposite sex to suffer 10 years of bad luck.

we are supposed to be the fairer sex, hello!

there is no need to continue thinking men are greater.

and even if you do continue thinking that way,

which is nothing wrong,

there is no need to enforce your values and attitudes on others.

because everyone has their own values.

and they are not the same as yours.

contagious

the last day of school. finally.

if i wrote articles for a magazine, i’ll rate today.. -4 out of 5.

it has been a lousy day.

i woke up in shock! it was 5.45 already and i was only 1/3 done through my physics pamphlet! not to mention that i had not started on the evaluation.. i stupidly fell asleep on my brother’s bed. sigh. i was totally messed up. i didn’t know what to do since my school bus was coming at 6.20! so i had to ask my mum to fetch me to school instead of me taking the school bus, giving me an allowance of about one hour to finish up the pamphlet.

at 7.00pm, i left the house with my mum.. and in the car on the way to school, i realised something. i forgot to include the macroconcepts in the pamphlet. i didn’t even think of doing it! worse thing was, it’s included in the rubrics! i couldn’t do anything to the pamphlet since the information and all was already printed and packed to the brim.

but anyway, i reached school a few minutes before school started. a prefect looked evily at me and said “hurry up!”. sigh.

8 people were absent today, for various reasons which i shall not disclose. anyway, i don’t know. but i guess most people would put two and two together…

and form four!

first block. chemistry.

ms huang came in with the formative assessment, which i forgot about since i was rushing physics performance task. we tried to convince her to hold the test next term.. but she insisted. in the first place, ms huang was already in a bad mood due to “in conversation” the day before, only 1/3 of the drama theatre was filled and FOUR speakers were invited! i think the school must have been embarrassed!

physics performance task again.

anyway, yeah. after she gave out the papers, some of the class people refused to do the paper, but mostly because they didn’t know how to fill it in, but ms huang took it as rebellion. she was pretty upset. sigh. she left the class and slammed the door without saying anything and left.. sigh.

second block. maths.

great, ms tan came in and we received a lecture! ms huang had told ms tan about our “rebellion” apparently. ms lee too. that was a long lecture. but actually, many of the teachers had misunderstood us and we had plenty of points to defend ourselves. sigh.

third block. recess.

… had to do my macroconcepts.. starved myself, it was painful! not like i don’t do it often. haha!

fourth block. assembly.

scolding directed at upper secondary for the usual stuff, unable to keep quiet etc.. and also, mrs chew said that some of us were falling asleep during the talk, not having basic courtesy for the speaker.. *guilty!* but it’s not our fault if they’re not entertaining right!

fifth block. biology.

class got scolded by ms lee for not putting in effort in our biology worksheets, and only seven out of 36 handed in all the worksheets required. and it’s the worst among her classes. sigh.

this was a bad day, stayed back in school till 4 pm to write my evaluation.

thanks js for waiting

this is a boring entry. i’m too tired.

it’s weird, today is the last day of school. for this semester at least.

i didn’t see anyone going out to orchard.

the fun didn’t seem to be there anymore.

are we falling deeper into the bottomless pit,

causing us to become blind of the most precious things?

i hope i have not.

place a façade

it was raining during physical education class today, not like i cared since i’m put off physical education for the rest of my life. actually, i do care. i like physical education. i like soccer, tennis, softball and all the other games that we play during physical education! sigh.

it’s like, imagine. if you’re out of school and all, are you going to find the time to round up a group of 11 for a game of soccer or some imaginary number for softball? okay, maybe soccer is fine, because there are soccer fields around, but i really don’t think many people would actually bother. but softball! i don’t think i’ve ever seen anyone playing it outside school around singapore. it’s during physical education class that you actually get to play these games with your friends! i like.

but oh wells, that day i went to get the napfa exemption from my family doctor cause i can’t do standing broad jump. the impact is too great for my kneecap to take, so i might as well not take the whole napfa. haha. anyway, i normally only get borderline passes for my standing broad jump.

my doctor was very nice! when i dislocate my kneecap, i only go to the hospital during serious dislocations. most of the times i just leave it alone to recover. so all my records are only with Alexandra Hospital. the doctor there said that there’s nothing else they can do if i don’t go for the operation, which my parents are against, so they left the appointment open till the end of last year. great. which i smartly didn’t make an appointment, so it lapsed and i can never go into Alexandra Hospital ever again! so i couldn’t get an exemption from there…

i went to the clinic near my house and explained the situation to my doctor. actually, he seriously had no reason to trust me. because i have no records or whatsoever to prove that i have that problem. (either that or i have superbly active imagination.) but he checked my kneecap a little and decided to buy the story. (not like it was false in the first place!) and gave me an exemption! very very nice. after that, he advised me to stop physical education in school. because it’s going to be bad for me in the long run. basically, i am definitely going to get arthritis in the future. it’s just the onset of it. if i continue physical education, i’ll probably get it in 10 years? if i stop, then maybe 20 to 30 years later. so according to my doctor, it’s best i stopped physical education. sigh.

i should go swimming more often then.

oh my gosh, i just realised that all that is not the point of writing this entry. anyway, it was raining, so my physical education teacher came to our class to talk. she made a statement, which is

“don’t burn yourself out now. look at what you’re going to be 50 years down the road, is all this that you’re doing now going to be important?”

something along these lines, sorry for any misquotation.

she was talking about how some people want to get 4.0 for their gpa score and work themselves out till they fizz out and die. (okay, not literally.) and discussion started about how that is very difficult and it is not going to matter after a while whether you achieved 4.0 or not, since eventually we’re all going to die.

i disagree. i believe that life is about achieving your goals. as in, mini-targets that you set for yourself. it doesn’t matter whether you are going to die eventually or not, but what matters is whether you achieved the goals set for yourself. it is not about whether those goals are going to matter in the long run, but more about that moment’s satisfaction that you get when you finally find that you have achieved a goal that you set for yourself.

they say, you shouldn’t work so hard to get that 4.0, you should take care of your body and get enough sleep, because hard work doesn’t always translate into success.

true enough, many times in life, we find that we are greatly disappointed because we had put in so much effort into something but we did not get the results that we want. but does that mean that we shouldn’t work hard? because i believe that if you work hard, at least you tried. if you didn’t even try to work hard, what chance is there that you will even achieve that 4.0 goal that you set for yourself?

from this, one step further, i believe that life is about achieving your goals, but more importantly, life is about putting in your best to achieve your goals. actually, it would be wrong to say that “oh, it doesn’t matter if you don’t achieve your goals, it’s the process that matters”, because we all know that results matter! what’s the point of all that working hard if you don’t get what you want? the satisfaction that you get from achieving your goals is quite great actually, i think. to me, it would seem more correct to say that “i tried my best, put in my best, it would be good if i achieved my goals, but if i didn’t, it’s just too bad.”

so yes, don’t stop trying. cause you will never know. so what if you’re going to die? does it mean that you shouldn’t experience life to the fullest? does it mean that you should just kill yourself now, since everything that you do won’t matter since we’re all going to die?

back to the point about looking at where you are going to be at when you’re 50, it’s almost the same thing. but actually, why 50? why not look further, look at 90. at 90, maybe you’ll be dead. so should you just not bother as well? in fact, we don’t even have to look at 90. will you still be alive at 50?

so basically, this argument that you should not work hard at something just because you are going to be perhaps, with a happy family and 10 children doesn’t hold at all since you won’t know if it is going to be true.

before the moment you die, the moment you see your life flashing past your eyes, do you want to see a boring, dreary life, or do you want to see a life full of excitement because you worked hard for your goals and had achieved them?

i would want to think that i had lived a life of satisfaction.

true enough, we should live for the future. but is it practical?

to me,

carpe diem.

seize the moment.

live the moment.

breathe

someone said,

“life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.”

i like this quote.

perhaps, life is really made up of those moments.

because,

what you remember about your life,

is really mostly the moments that take your breath away.

it doesn’t have to be amazing,

it just has to make an impression on you.

being angry,

is taking your breath away.

being sad,

is taking your breath away.

being disappointed,

is taking your breath away.

life is made up of emotions.

(except for js’ life, that is.)

emotions are the moments that will take your breath away,

and emotions are the moments that you will remember in your life.

since these moments make up your life,

i want to be as happy as possible,

not to be negative.

so that when i reflect upon my life again,

i will remember these happy moments,

and these happy emotions,

making up the moments,

would be my life.

magic show

magic show in school..

6 bucks per ticket.

anyone interested?

message me

*i made the tickets!*

own faith

“it takes courage to stand alone.”

- Ong Sin Yen Rachel, Project Director, Thumbs Up!

stand alone,

when no one agrees with you.

stand alone,

when everyone is doing things differently from you.

stand alone,

when you believe in yourself.

do you have the courage?

negation fair

the exams are finally over.

i’m all set to start on things i want to do!

i’m going to make more banners!

and read my magic master comics!

and go out!

but i can’t go out.

why?!

i don’t understand why sometimes i don’t get what i want.

even the tiniest thing.

okay, it’s not that i don’t understand.

but what’s the explanation?

because life doesn’t give you what you want?

because life is not fair?

that explanation is hardly satisfactory.

it just restates the point that you won’t get what you want.

it is not an explanation.

i was talking to my brother yesterday.

to me, i think something that i’ve learnt in my 16 years of life on earth is that, if you don’t state what you want, you normally won’t get it. i think people don’t say what they want because they don’t want to be seen as greedy or… they expect other people to get it that they want something.

i think they just want to see if the “other people” understand them or not, or whether the “other people” even care about what they think. but do they understand that, sometimes others just don’t get it? it’s not that they are insensitive, it’s just that, sometimes things don’t occur to people.

i admit it, sometimes if i want something, i won’t want to let other people know. it’s just something in me, to make me think that if the other person knows what i want, then you are cared for! between friends, sometimes you feel like you know each other so well that you don’t have to tell them what you want, but they will still get it.

but i know, sometimes people don’t.

so i think that we should just tell other people what one wants. because that’s the most effective way to get things done. don’t play mind games, it’s useless. it just makes things worse. you will start to think “oh no, my friend doesn’t care for me!” or other pointless stuff.

yeah, so just make things known.

however, my brother thinks that not everything needs to be spelt out so clearly. (i forgot why.) perhaps, it’s just things that everyone is supposed to get?

sometimes, do you feel that you’re the only “actual person” in the world? do you feel like everyone beside you, is just plainly a passerby? the other people don’t have feelings, emotions and thoughts. they are just made to pass you in life. the things they say to make you think that they have feelings, emotions and thoughts are just illusions. like in a blur, they will eventually leave you. you are on your own. everyone else.. is perhaps fake. do you feel that way?

because i do.

take it off me

i do not blog for people to read.

i do not blog for people to read.

i do not blog for people to read.

i don’t care if no one reads my blog.

it’s for myself to look and admire.

yes.