seconds to die

my uncle got shot in thailand. twice.

so surreal.. like shot, gun shot.

maybe it’s just cause we’re in singapore, such things are just like impossible to us.

but gun shot?!

sigh.

he was robbed too. duh.

anyway, i was being spastic today.

family eating at kfc, then my brother asked me to open a chilli sauce packet for him.

he tried at first, but couldn’t opened it.

so i tried.

there was already a tear on the top left corner, so i tried the top right corner.

couldn’t tear.

so i decided to try the bottom left corner.

but before i tried that, i had to like squeeze the chili sauce to one side.

so i grabbed hold of the corner and SHOOK the packet.

…

and all the chili sauce came flying out of the packet

and landed all over my brother’s shirt.

because of the original tear made by my brother.

i didn’t know!

i tried!

surprisingly, none landed on me.

my bro was super pissed at me.

gave me the evil look.

called me an idiot -.-

haha! but i just couldn’t help laughing throughout dinner.

the whole scene is just so hilarious.

the chili sauce was totally over the table and him!

hahaha.

fishing by the seaside

it’s the last week of holidays. june holidays. flew past so fast, didn’t even manage to get much stuff done. i wonder where my holidays fly to.. do they go to the moon? maybe some alien enjoys the holidays that i don’t make use of.

operation m.i.b was über cool, i like it a lot i got all my first choices, going for

1. General module – approaches of service learning
2. General module – basic interpersonal relationship techniques

3. Specific module – Social Enterprise

very exciting! just updated my diary/planner, and i see a tightly packed calendar for me for july and august. woohoo! just when all the summative assesments and performance tasks need to be done. sigh. but even then, i wouldn’t complain, cause i applied for this programme and i think it’s going to make a huge difference in my life, as long as i want it to.

anything is impossible, as long as i want it to happen.

seriously, i think my holidays weren’t as enjoyable probably because i was “banned” from the computer, “banned” from going out and had my phone confiscated. but actually, all these stuff are really not essentials of life, i realised. i think i have mentioned once before why handphones are not essential. computer.. hm. during the period (actually i still am, but whatever.) i was banned from the computer, i’ve slacked. a lot. all i needed to say is “i can’t use the computer what.” my friends can’t try to contact me, so i only get company when i ask for it. no one irritates you

but the real bummer is still not being able to go out. i don’t know why, going out with friends is just this very nice thing to do, and having to worry about how i’m going to be scolded and being reminded of the time just takes the whole fun out of it. sigh. even if it’s just taking a walk around, eating out with your friends.. i just feel that it’s so much fun. it’s the holidays!

oh, but operation m.i.b just made up for everything. hehe.

i’ve been thinking, am i really getting too involved with all this community involvement stuff? ms kong was asking me if i had too much on my platter. sigh.. but i don’t think being involved with the community is such a bad thing. studies are not everything, and definitely not much of a something, no matter how everyone (myself included) thinks it’s very important. i’m contradictory now. but seriously, studies and education are just stuff that everyone has. there’s nothing special about it. i am so going to remember the first principle of differenciation when i go out to work.

but community involvement, community service, service learning is just different. the things that i learn from all these, i can actually see myself apply in the future. it’s a choice, a choice of a lifestyle. something that you want. something that you choose to achieve something from. isn’t that much more meaningful than having a superb education? yes, you can have an education, but it doesn’t mean you should stop everything else and study 12 hours a day. besides, i really dislike studying. all this, are things that you can look back upon in the future.

sure, i won’t know whether i’m making the right choice. but i live for the present, not the past, not the future. right now, i know and believe that i’m making the right choice. i know i want to do this now. now and forever. do i have to stop and postpone it till i’m done with my education?

how many people in this world, promise themselves that they will do what they want after they complete what they should do? and how many of these people will ever reach what they want? i don’t think many. because there is a never ending list of things that we should do and the things just keep coming. what makes us think that eventually we will be able to complete all that we should do? besides, at different stages in life, we would want different things. 10 years down the road, i might not want to do what i want to do now. what’s the point of postponing? you will never get to the want. all you will have is more shoulds and more shoulds and more shoulds.

so why not, do what you want now, because you will have more “wants” in the future! (: my decision to drop french in secondary four made me realise that yes, i do live for the present! haha. it may not be such a bad thing you know. no, it’s NOT a bad thing.

woah.. this is starting to sound like a lecture.. in a blog.

to me, “blog” is a sensitive topic.

what are the purposes of blogs? why do people want to write in a blog? why are blogs public? why do we advertise our blogs? why… do we change the layouts of our blogs ever so frequently? when do we blog?

when do you feel like blogging? do you blog because your friends ask you to? i used to think that people who blog for others to read are quite pathetic. because seriously, a blog is like a diary. you don’t write in your diary for others to read right? but after much thinking, actually, it’s no big fat hairy deal. sometimes, it’s just easier to type, rather than say. sometimes i might want to say something to a friend, but it’s just too difficult to say out, wouldn’t it be easier to just blog it out, because anyway, you know your friend will read your blog. and you don’t write a message to your friend, because you want others to know how great your friend is. why not?

i think everyone blogs to entertain to a certain extent. i believe that blogging is a form of entertainment and when you blog, you entertain yourself and through that, it becomes a form of entertainment for others. it might not be something that you consciously do, it’s just probably sub-conscious, and it becomes as if you wrote all that stuff just to entertain others. oh wells.

it’s probably wrong for me to think that people who blog for others to read is pathetic, because now i realise that in everyone’s blog, there is always that element, small element, which makes you know that everything that is written there has been carefully thought through, and one of these thoughts is “my blog is going to be read.”

just let go of your pre-conceived notions, and be free once again, to fly.

good like strawberry ice cream

found these bad analogies on js’ blog!

they are so good that i can’t bear not to blog them up! (:

my favourites..

1.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Joseph Romm, Washington

2.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
Russell Beland, Springfield

3.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

4.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Russell Beland, Springfield

5.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Unknown

6.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
Unknown

makes you want to roll your eyes, don’t they? haha!

credit to js and her insane site

whatever

i don’t like this world.

real to you

i went to the World Bank Youth Seminar today.

cool seminar.

microbanking, a solution to poverty?

micro banking is a system of loaning small amounts of money, like USD100, to the poor in various poverty-stricken countries, eg. east timor. this method is particularly effective as even though the amount is small, it gives the poor family the chance to start a small business with that little capital. simple businesses like selling buns, may not mean a lot to others, it means the world to the poor. from this small buying and selling, they can make a profit of about USD50.

the thing about microbanking is that there is no collateral. these families do not need a own a piece of land, own a house, own a business. the only collateral, is discipline.

it’s based upon trust.

trust that these people would know how to manage their funds, and repay.

i like this idea.

another thing special about microbanking, is that approximately 95% of the borrowers are women. they don’t particularly lend these money to men. in poverty-stricken countries, the women are the first to starve. their children get the food first, then the husband, and then if there’s enough left, the woman. also, women have lower risk profiles than men, making it more sensible to lend money to women instead of men. thus, by letting them have microbanking, it allows them to be able to support the family, since this is what they do, whether or not they have money. (:

therefore, microbanking is actually a form of gender empowerment, a powerful one in fact, giving these poor women in traditionally male-dominated society the opportunity to raise their families without worrying about where their next meal is coming from. through this, maybe they might finally have a voice, and a say in family matters.

power to the women.

to find out more – CASHPOR.. credit and savings for the hardcore poor

“is it true that poverty can only be alleviated, but never eradicated?”

this question was raised by a girl during the seminar today. even though the speaker disagreed with her statement, and insisted that poverty can one day be eradicated, i don’t really think so.

seriously, poverty, is all subjective. it’s how you define it.

poverty – people who can’t feed themselves?

poverty – people who are ill and don’t have money for healthcare?

poverty – people who are poorer than others?

poverty will never be eradicated, because even when everyone eventually has money, the rich gets richer, the cost of living continues to rise because of all these riches, and the people are the bottom of the income ladder will still be considered in “poverty”, because they’re still the poorest!

yeah, sure, you have the poverty line, but isn’t this poverty line defined by the economic conditions, like at which point, or which income bar you’re at when you can afford your 3/4/5/6 meals? essentially, even if everyone has money now, the poverty line will just move up, because prices will get higher…

things move in a straight line – money too? just that it’s upwards.

oh, anyway, i went to the Fighting HIV/AIDS workshop after that.

it was really quite fun, lots of games, roleplay and stuff.

didn’t learn a lot, but it made the situation more real to myself, in the Singapore context.

abstinence = safe

condom = safeR sex (no guarantee)

now i want to join Action for Aids (AFA) as a volunteer!

you can only help those who want to be helped.

but there is still only so much you can do.

the irony of life.