thought of lying low on a bench

just a few random thoughts. even though few makes me think of 3, i don’t really have three incidents to talk about so never mind. maybe i should like change “few” into a concept of “two”. but then i should just say “couple”.

okay. just a couple of random thoughts. but then again, couple doesn’t seem very clear. cause it makes me float towards the number “three”, but rationally, it should mean “two”. hm. i wonder how these connotations come about. just like how italics just give you a feeling. even though no one has ever taught me about why people use italics or how to use it, it just gives this emphasizing “french-floating” feeling. like now. haha!

oh wells.

on thursday i went for a barbeque with my family at changi point. it was great fun even though i was sleeping most of the time cause i had a bad fever and headache.

anyway, there was this notice on the barbeque pit which informed the public about how convenient it was to book a barbeque pit in the parks cause of the accessibilty of axs machines. so i think it was meant to imply that you should book the barbeque pit before using it.

however, my dad said,

“they did not say we cannot use the barbeque pit if we don’t book it on the machine.”

and of course, my dad wanted to suggest that we can use the barbeque pit without any problems even though we did not have a permit. 

hm. at first glance, it might seem like a fallacy of false dilemma. just like “there is no proof that ghosts exist. so ghosts do not exist.”

and my sister told my dad,

“but they also didn’t say that we can use the barbeque pit.”

that made it seem even more like a fallacy of false dilemma! hahahahaha. i don’t know why it made the statement sound more convincing as a fallacy, but it just did to me.

but after deeper thought, it didn’t seem so.

cause my dad said,

“if they build a tap in the park, you think they will put a notice and write ‘please use this tap.’?”

yeah.

on a random note, my dad has a really strange fascination with torchlights that always makes me want to burst out laughing.

so important, but i didn’t ask.

i feel enlightened. after reading the reply from the director of corporate communication with regards to the gay doctor issue, i definitely received some answers that i was looking for. hm.

but the general idea was that the gay doctor was already a habitual drug user, and cnb had a reason to use this entrapment method. it was not borne out of “trial and error” i should say? haha.

anyway, i was talking about this issue with wy this evening, and was wondering about something else associated to this issue. i told wy, perhaps, the gay doctor was just about to quit before he was caught with the drugs. as in, before he was even offered entry into such a threesome, he was never ever going to take drugs again. but due to the desperation to gain entry into the threesome, he went back to obtain the drugs.

would this make any difference to the case?

apparently, no, cause i mean, once a crime is committed, nothing will change the fact that the action was done. wy raised the point that murderers are still caught 8 years, 25 years down the road. i mean, they murdered someone! it would not a difference whether they decide to stop murdering another person or something like that.

but i was quite reluctant to accept this argument, i should think. murder and drug abuse do not seem to be that similar to render the same kind of “persistence”? (for a lack of a better word.) murderers hurt others, while drug abusers only hurt themselves. i would think that a murder would be more worth pursuing rather than a drug abuse case. i mean, if i accept the argument raised by wy, i can also raise another example as follows.

a child stole a pencil from a shop. when he gets home, he realises that what he did was wrong and he should never do it again. and he never ever committed the same mistake.

if he was never found out, i certainly would not mind the fact that his shoplifting was not pursued 8 years down the road. maybe it is only my opinion.

i think from this, it is easy to conclude that it is really about the degree of seriousness. but in cases such as drug abuse, it would be really difficult to determine how serious the crime is. as people say, difficult to draw the line.

but i still find that “drug users are only hurting themselves” a point worth reconsidering. if they decide to stop hurting themselves out of rational thought, should they still be prosecuted?

maybe they should be prosecuted only to serve as a warning to the rest. like “hey, i’m getting punished cause i’m hurting myself. don’t hurt yourself okay?”

and that does sound very weird.

oh wells. enough about hart and devlin or john stuart mill. wahahaha. i only have a week and 2 days left. crap.

flat in his eyes, just in front.

no one seems to have heard about the case of the gay doctor. i was away in taiwan, but when i got back, i read the sunday times and it was on the 3rd page! it should have caught the attention of quite a few people, unless i am mistaken.

but anyway, i do not really feel like giving an account of what happened, so i shall paste my convo with xinyang here!

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says: he’s a houseman at some hosp

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

then he’s gay

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

so he just got prosecuted for having drugs on him

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

but the thing is that

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

he was caught by an undercover

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

and at the start

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

the undercover pretended that they are gonna have a threesome

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

gay threesome i assume

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

and in order for the gay doctor to gain entry to this threesome

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

he was supposed to obtain some drugs

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

(a condition set by the undercover)

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

and according to the gay doctor’s friend

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

the gay doctor was so desperate to be given entry

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

he went everywhere to get the drugs

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

and then in the end

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

he got caught with the drugs

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

…

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

omg do u have a photo of the undercover?

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

i just feel that.. it’s a bit weird

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

oh wait he’s an undercover.

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

sigh!

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

damn,

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

that’s not the point!

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

the point being?

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

..

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

the point being..

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

the drugs.. wasn’t like, intentional

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

aiee i do want to see what the undercover looks like.

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

intentional?

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

like, there was a reason for him having the drugs!

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

the undercover pushed him to get it!

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

and he had it cause he was desperate!!!

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

was he prosecuted b4 or after the undercover instigated him to get the drugs?

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

after..

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

as in, it was cause of the threesome

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

then he got caught with drugs on him

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

oh.

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

so someone tried to sabo him lah.

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

YA!

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

….. then i feel that it is so unfair!!!

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

but maybe it’s not the whole story, cause maybe before that he already took drugs or sth

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

the news got show the photo of the undercover?

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

and the “someone” is the undercover

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

…

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

never -.-

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

aiyar.

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

only hv photo of gay doctor

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

why u wanna see photo of undercover..

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

cos undercover rite, it is likely that the doctor didn’t like him before.

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

so its probably like yi1 jian4 zhong1 qing2

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

that means the undercover is probably very shuai4 !

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

…… NO!

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

it just means that the gay doctor haven’t had gay sex in a long time..

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

oh yar hor.

–<<{[o]}>>– Only human. says:

didn’t think of that.

:: tia :: [hi, i'm ziLin!] says:

… sigh~

wow, that was a really long convo. but anyway, my point was already stated during the conversation, but i shall reiterate it once again.

basically, i think that the undercover’s method used to catch the gay doctor was not exactly… fair. it was the desperation to gain entry into the threesome that forced the gay doctor to go everywhere to look for drugs, and then subsequently he was prosecuted as he had drugs on his hands. it was not exactly that he was pedalling drugs or something like that. as i said, it did not seem to be intentional, in this case.

it seems to me that the only mistake that he made was that he fell for the undercover’s trap and made the wrong decision to look for the drugs such that he can be given entry to the threesome.

it was not out of his own choice or interest to be holding on to those drugs.

i really do not quite understand.

perhaps, the police already had evidence that he had drug dealings before that. but then again, what is the purpose of the undercover if so? sigh, maybe i really had only a small amount of information of the case. i do not intend to doubt the integrity of the police force or anything like that, i was just wondering why such a method was chosen to capture the gay doctor.

i guess it is somewhat like the robber who stole cause he had to pay for his dying grandmother’s treatment.

sigh.

jia peng peur lor neng! … hurhurhur

you let go…
… and she comes back to you.

that’s when love begins, my dears.
learn from it.

greetings from taiwan!

hello!

time to revive some back cells

finally back from Pre University Seminar 2006 (: not that i did not enjoy myself to the max, but it is always great to get back home and sleep in your own bed in your own room. the seminar was like five days and four nights, and we stayed over at nus’ prince georges’ park residences. it’s like, the condominium of nus, but… it does not even have air conditioning in the rooms! ah wells.

it was really a huge hostel, and each of the 540 participants had their own rooms. that is kind of good i think, not having to share rooms with people, but then again, sharing rooms is always some kind of bonding activity! haha. but i really got the chance to mess up the room. so yeah.

haha. i totally enjoyed myself at this seminar, even though it started less fun that i thought. really love everyone there! got to know so many people from so many different jcs, it was really a good experience. i guess not many people will get the chance to do that, i mean unless you really try to put yourself out there and get to know like people at… parties or something. not actually something i would do, so yeah, the seminar was great!

and the guerilla filming was damn exciting too! (: yay. our film was really hilarious! it was a great film. i did not mind not winning the judges’ choice award, cause our film was not something that can be screened at national day parade, but i wanted to have the chance to screen our film to all the seminar participants during the final day! and the organizers had to choose the wrong film. so we could not show anyone our film. so sad! i shall try to get it from weisheng and upload on my blog! then all of you can really laugh at it! yay!

haha. oh yeah. everyone at the seminar insisted that i’m some kind of xiao mei mei. oh wells. i think it was cause i’m like, really short, as compared to everyone at the seminar… and just a bit innocent. i did chick watching together with the guys in my seminar group! wahahah. it was damn fun and exciting! then i was like always asking the guys… “is she prettier than fann wong?” but apparently many of the guys are like very picky. they do not even think fann wong is pretty! i mean like, what the heck?! fann wong is DAMN PRETTY okay. then like they were checking out legs and stuff. though personally i do not really like to look at legs. face and personality are good stuff! guys should learn that.

yes, i’m back again. uh hm. what else happened?

oh yeah! there was this pjc guy – langer, who was really hilarious! cause there was once when i was rushing back to my room to change cause we had to rush out the script for the filming. just when i was turning into a lobby, someone called out “rj girl! STOP!” i was like really shocked, and i like stopped and turned around. so there was this pj guy staring at me. then he whipped out his phone and said “you look like my friend, so let’s take a picture together!” hahahaha! it was really weird. i was like…. “uh, okay.” so we tried to take a picture, then not very nice, so he called sarah over to take a picture together with me. haha! sarah is from my og. and the same pre u seminar group with him. haha (:

so after that we were always like “pj guy!” and “rj girl!”

haha. hm. ah! i remembered something else. guys seem to have this preference for pretending to talk on a pink phone. i think they think it’s damn cool or something, like to be able to talk on a pink phone once in a while, even though they do not want to own it. haha! or be gay once in a while or something. hahaha!

i remembered that whenever i disagreed with a speaker during pre u seminar, i will think “i shall blog this when i get back home!” but now after so many days, i cannot even remember what i disagreed then, much less bother to blog about my disagreements. hehe.

hm. what else is there..?

OH YEAH. i remember that i was damn brave during the second last day of the seminar. cause there was no lights out rule on the second last night, so i went walking around the entire pgp campus by myself. it was really exciting! i kind of walked to like both ends of the pgp campus! i found a playground at one end. and the best thing was, there was a swing! oh my gosh. i love swings like crazy. i just played on the swing by myself for a really long time. swings are always good for thinking, with the wind in your face, you just let go and let your thoughts run wild (:

cannot remember much stuff already, except for touching hq’s hair whenever i see him, and reminding him that he has to cut his hair soon, cause his hair not nice to touch anymore!

oh ya! still have stuff. i met a guy called gang yi (? i think.) in my seminar group! haha. at the start i did not really talk to him, cause he looks quite menacing and unfriendly. but i think on the 3rd day, we “met” each other over a game of tic-tac-toe! haha. cause he is really good with that, but i’m really bad at tic-tac-toe, so i also convinced him to play candlesticks. hahaha. he is really bad with names, so he only calls me xiao mei mei. so i call him gor gor! just for the fun of it at least. i bet i’m older than him anyway.

so on the last day of the seminar, during the tea session with the minister of education, he tried to teach me how to have the correct posture and walk in a feminine way -.- right… hahaha. then he demonstrated so many times and tried to convince me to try it out! haha. then i just laughed at him! hahahahahaha.

oh yeah. wang/weng thinks i’m damn cute!!! lol. that’s just a random comment.

ah. after so much stuff! time for pictures! yay!

alex and i (: does alex resemble a certain someone? i wonder… hm. he is related that someone we know… he is quite cute though. but too bad, i am not into uh, relationships.

yay. anwar and weisheng (: they are gay partners. then again, maybe not.

maybe not cause it looks like anwar has eechong as another gay partner! haha. though anwar looks really distressed in this photo! haha. eechong is totally hamming it up for the camera! haha. eechong is damn funny (:

eechong, karthi, me and terence! (: haha. this photo looks really wrong. but eechong is trying to kiss karthi (i think) and karthi is trying to kiss me (i think it’s something related to the truth and dare from the day before) and terence is making a funny face! haha. but i think this picture is really nice! the composition is damn nice. very cute!

wang/weng and me! hahahaha. wang/weng always reminds me of the penis game. too bad we’re at a draw now. i owned him in school! but he owned me at pre u sem, cause he is such an opportunist. i shall not go into detail with this! haha. oh and wang/weng rocks! his camera and video editing skills are like, damn power!

me and wei ge~ (: she’s our director! for the guerilla filming. haha. quite a nice girl! and for your information, her name does not resemble something that will make guys more powerful, it’s pronounced as “wei1 ge3″. haha!

me and weeyong! (: weeyong is our dear student liaison officer (SLO). he’s damn nice! very motherly. hahaha. he’s like really nice to our seminar group, but we’re always getting him angry. haha. but everyone still loves him!

me and nasuha! (: nasuha is like the closest girl to me in the seminar group (: hahaha. she’s like this really nice girl. love her lots! actually she’s damn chio, but always gets very embarrassed when everyone calls her chio. her smile is actually really beautiful, i know, cause i took a video of her on the nokia n70. but she has only ever smiled like that once, for me! wahahaha.

me and langer! haha. talked about him just now. he’s the pj guy! so tall as well. had to bend down to take a photo with me. (: he’s really funny too. and he looks like someone in rj… though i don’t know who. hm. wonder why i’ve seen him around.

yay! me and gangyi (gor gor)! (: hahaha. took 2 photos with him, one with him MUCH taller than me, and one him bending down to my height. haha. he’s like one and a half heads taller than me. so is langer and wang/weng. sigh! so sad. hahaha. but gang yi is really nice (:

clare and i! (: yay. hahaha. clare is our dear producer, and she’s really cute! haha. very frank. i love her! she’s very open as well (: hahaha. great friend to be with!

dear karthi and i! hahaha. karthi is a really fun and caring slo (: he’s like TOTAL fun! and loving as well. hahaha. i think he’s such a nice guy… sensitive too! hahaha. (: cause he cried when it was the last day with us. so sad right? haha.

chixiong, me and viknesh! (: wow. what can i say. they’re like a totally hilarious pair. chixiong’s really… comedic i think. ahhaha! at first he was such a loner, but after that he grew into us and became really chatty and daring =P and viknesh! HAHAHHAHA. everytime i think of him i think of murderer! he got killed SO MANY TIMES by some weird murderer who he thinks up himself. like, the murderer never kill him he also dies. haha!

anwar and i! (: haha. at last a normal picture of anwar, and the picture had to be slanted. taken by my dear gangyi gor gor, who felt that he had a lot of camera skills for taking this picture. hahaha! anwar’s really talented, i feel.

weisheng, me and eechong! hahahaha. this pair rocks man! i went chick watching a bit with them! hahah. they are like damn fun, and are explosive whenever they’re together! and how can i forget, all the “heizima, baizima, wah and wahwah” with weisheng! hahaha. it was infectious and our entire group started to playing as well!

hahaha. so damn fun! eechong is this… flirtatious yet sensitive guy. no he doesn’t flirt with me, i’m not his type! haha. i’m like one of the guys! (: yay

gfc 38 ROCKS!