ping 400

what is it like to live without romantic love? zi lin has gone fishing admits to being one who falls easily for others, perhaps that is why it is usually surprising to people around me when they find out about my current attitude towards love. falling easily for others otherwise means that i almost always have someone in my mind, and it has almost always been a staple in my life, to go to class each day looking forward to seeing someone – it makes days and thoughts go by so much more excitingly and interestingly. which of course begs the question of what happened during my rgs days, but i do not really recall much of the love life then… perhaps when removed from the sphere of guys i really had the ability to not have anyone on my mind. such a characteristic has made me find it weird when people tell me that they have never had crushes before, or have no one in mind – prime example: js. LOL. being attracted to others is just so much part of me that i find it hard to imagine that some of my friends have never felt attracted to anyone before in their life.

however, in recent days i have perhaps realized that there may be a more extreme version of me in others – the inability to live without being in romantic love. for me, attraction has always been a pastime, something that made days go by more interestingly, it was never really about loneliness and companionship. 9/10 of the time, i would hardly even have any contact with the guy in mind. but i think there are some who require this romantic love as a form of combat against loneliness… almost as if at every point of time, there has to be someone in mind in order to live out the day together. but is it really different? perhaps it is merely that my attraction is not as deep as that of the others.

life sometimes makes it so hard for some people to live, i feel.